Miss you

Today's post is dedicated to Papa. 3 years ago today he passed away. I remember I hadn't spoken to him since March and didn't want to since I couldn't face his suffering. Nana said he didn't ever suffer, but I still didn't know what to say or how to deal with it. The night before Nana made me talk to him over the phone and assure him that he could be at peace, that I was taken care of and he could let go. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do . I hated every minute of it and was so mad that I had to do it. Of course the next morning he died. I was getting my nails done when Nana called and left a message. I sat at the dinner table and cried, but I could feel him right there with me.
I've felt him around since then and I know he's part of a great work on the otherside. I still miss him though. I miss his rants on politics, his silly jokes, his Swiss accent, his beautiful singing voice, his love of art and classical music, his laugh, his scary driving, his half finished books on his bedside, body slamming him, watching him read his scriptures, his amazing lessons, his infinite knowledge of everything and most of all his hands. Dad had strong tender hands, I loved to hold them. I'll always think of you dad and I can't wait to see you again.